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Words, words, words... by Kublakhan27

Literature by GetWatchers

Great Frickin' Literature by TheSkull31

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Submitted on
November 27, 2012
File Size
990 bytes


86 (who?)

In a world after humans,
where animals have evolved to rule in our image;
a group of freedom fighters vie for
separation from the tyrannical TRIUMVIRATE.

This REBELLION, aloft in the heavens with
numerous other kin, call the TOWERS their home,
majestic wonders built millions of years
ago; before the humans' extinction.

Punishing any form of disobedience with
a chastening most cruel – The Triumvirate
maintains a steadfast societal dominance.

In a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand,
the rebels have employed the services of VALESSA,
a young vulpine spy skilled in the art
of reconnaissance. Sending her to The Triumvirate's
amphitheatre, her small chance at attaining
key intelligence is all that stands in the
way between freedom and enslavement for all...
I'm working on a new novel Series to publish under Lapine Literature.
You know how in Star Wars, the text scrolls over the screen to gift context to the ensuing journey?
This is my equivalent for Towers: Episode One: The Fourth Triumvir.
If people start to read and like this. THIS IS THE STARTING POINT, even though it says 000. The next one will be 001, and so on and so forth.

- Changed thousands to millions to make the evolution timeline more believable.
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The creative process behind all of this is visibly seen the introduction. I enjoy it word for word, for several reasons in fact. The that you use to write it is unique, as I feel I am reading a story in poetic stanza. I feel like a war is ahead, a bloody and powerful one, as I read each line. The way you easily explain an entire story without spoiling it is incredible, and intrigues me enough to want to read the rest. It is astounding that such creative vision is met with this story, well done. Extremely well done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

I don't really have many complaints about this piece. The language is very good and originality ++ due to the terms used. I find it a very intriguing entrance to what is probably going to be an epic tale.

I put a -0.5 in originality simply due to the fact that this kind of story, with animals dominating over humans, has been done before. However, that doesn't really mean that the story will be bad. It's actually quite frightening how punishment is served in this society; it's unfair and humiliating, and thus I think you have a great base for a rebellion kind of story.

Keep it up and well done!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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Eke93 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
i like what you are doing. i might like to do a piece on your valessa...if you don't mind. and i might post one of my writings i'd love you to critique...keep up your good work
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Professional Writer
Both of your suggestions sound awesome!
Make sure to send me a note.
wolfcraz-11 Featured By Owner Edited Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ok now I'm hooked, great now I have to squeeze in time for a novel series that I will think about when I'm supposed to be studying or listening to conversations. :) Superb opening.
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Professional Writer
They aren't very long reads!
I wrote for people who don't have a lot of spare time and can just read like one quick entry a day.
wolfcraz-11 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, I'll definitely read 'em. It's hard for me to be sarcastic in real life why do I try on computers I wonder....
Question: Are there no people/humans in this story?
M1STYSPL4SH Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this is really good!
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Professional Writer
I hope you enjoy the other entries just as much. ;_;
Frostdragon102 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014
Cry0tex Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Artist
I like the premise, it appears I've found new reading material ^.^ well done!
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Professional Writer
Ooooh, thanks!
I hope you like what I have written so far. Please enjoy. ^_^
I would love to know what you think.
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