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Submitted on
November 27, 2012
File Size
990 bytes


76 (who?)

In a world after humans,
where animals have evolved to rule in our image;
a group of freedom fighters vie for
separation from the tyrannical TRIUMVIRATE.

This REBELLION, aloft in the heavens with
numerous other kin, call the TOWERS their home,
majestic wonders built millions of years
ago; before the humans' extinction.

Punishing any form of disobedience with
a chastening most cruel – The Triumvirate
maintains a steadfast societal dominance.

In a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand,
the rebels have employed the services of VALESSA,
a young vulpine spy skilled in the art
of reconnaissance. Sending her to The Triumvirate's
amphitheatre, her small chance at attaining
key intelligence is all that stands in the
way between freedom and enslavement for all...
I'm working on a new novel Series to publish under Lapine Literature.
You know how in Star Wars, the text scrolls over the screen to gift context to the ensuing journey?
This is my equivalent for Towers: Episode One: The Fourth Triumvir.
If people start to read and like this. THIS IS THE STARTING POINT, even though it says 000. The next one will be 001, and so on and so forth.

- Changed thousands to millions to make the evolution timeline more believable.
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The creative process behind all of this is visibly seen the introduction. I enjoy it word for word, for several reasons in fact. The that you use to write it is unique, as I feel I am reading a story in poetic stanza. I feel like a war is ahead, a bloody and powerful one, as I read each line. The way you easily explain an entire story without spoiling it is incredible, and intrigues me enough to want to read the rest. It is astounding that such creative vision is met with this story, well done. Extremely well done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

I don't really have many complaints about this piece. The language is very good and originality ++ due to the terms used. I find it a very intriguing entrance to what is probably going to be an epic tale.

I put a -0.5 in originality simply due to the fact that this kind of story, with animals dominating over humans, has been done before. However, that doesn't really mean that the story will be bad. It's actually quite frightening how punishment is served in this society; it's unfair and humiliating, and thus I think you have a great base for a rebellion kind of story.

Keep it up and well done!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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Misha-Taylor Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The prelude is very well put together! I can't wait to read the rest!
KyleLambert Mar 28, 2014  Professional Writer
I'm glad you think so! I'm really glad you do!
I hope you enjoy the rest, I put a lot of effort into them!
Misha-Taylor Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I most likely will, I like a lot of your art :)
Whisper292 Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Great introduction--sounds like an interesting story!
shadowequinox Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting intro!
KyleLambert Dec 10, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks! I was inspired by Star Wars, how the text scrolls across the screen in the beginning.
shadowequinox Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
stanleythecat Jun 1, 2013  Student Artist
KyleLambert Jun 1, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks sir ;)
I do like the prospect of a cat being able to use DeviantArt
stanleythecat Jun 1, 2013  Student Artist
Lol and I'm a girl ;)
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