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Great Frickin' Literature by TheSkull31


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December 11, 2012
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"Ignorance is my life." Rifel admitted, his hot breath hitting Duncan in the face as he remained pinned to the soil. "It is all I need to know; and so I know everything."

Valessa cringed as Duncan took no credence from these words, choosing instead to raise his fist and bring it down upon Rifel. The sound that followed was indescribable – only signalling the extreme pain of the older vulpine.

"You crave knowledge; and so you know nothing..." Rifel continued under his breath, clearly in a pain most intense. "That pursuit of knowledge... will only bring you hurt and sorrow. Hurt and sorrow will... deliver you to death."

Duncan started to audibly protest, but was interrupted as Rifel grabbed a piece of rock from the eroded outlook, and brought it smashing against the bear's face. Valessa heard noises that she would rather soon forget, as Duncan gargled in pain at his crushed cranium. Rifel used the other male's daze in his favour as he gripped Duncan  by the chest and pushed him aside -- freeing the vulpine to let him stand. Duncan was on all fours, crawling and coughing up his lifeblood and teeth as Rifel looked down upon him, exaggerating his dominance.

"Pathetic like humanity. You thought you were in charge, and then the tables turned. Your own ideals and aspirations are what hurt you, Duncan!"

Rifel kicked him in the gut and took pleasure in his pitiful whines, as he tried with every ounce of courage to regain his balance. But it was difficult, and his paws slipped in the soil, getting his fur wet and muddy as he continued to fail.

Rifel brought his foot to Duncan's face this time, causing the ursa to turn over and fall on his back, writhing in pain as his vision was reduced to a red blur.

Valessa was conflicted as to whether or not she should be witnessing this violence, for if anyone else were here, they would be shielding her eyes in fright. But part of being independent, as young as she was – was the ability to maintain her calm in such peculiar situations. The ramifications that awaited her if she didn't get information worth any money, was her sole motivation. Starvation, was scary.

"It's okay..." Rifel said calmly. "A death for The Triumvirate is a meaningful one. I could not think of any other way even as remotely righteous as that. A death that serves to prove a point to all... that is a good one. So, if killing you saves our world from hurt – it is worth every moment of pain so long as it helps us endure."

Duncan gave up his attempts to return to his two feet, and instead started to crawl towards the edge of the outlook, grunting intensely with the move of every limb; the trail of blood in his wake starting to stain the outlook's beauty.

Rifel placed his paws softly on his thighs, next to daggers resting in their sheathes, and took slow steps to remain beside him; looking almost regal in his stance. Valessa had never seen those weapons before, but then again she had never really placed much attention on the thighs of the older vulpine. So for all intents and purposes, these blades appeared as if out of nowhere, one now gripped tightly in his paw as he knelt beside Duncan -- whose head was now over the edge and staring endearingly below. He reached out into the vast nothingness and tried to grasp it with his paw, groaning and saying indistinguishable words as he did.

"I am sorry for this, I am. But your death will give life to many kin." said Rifel as he brought the dagger down harshly, piercing Duncan's back and making the ursa give out high pitched screams as Valessa saw the blade effortlessly sink in.

"This is how you killed them, isn't it?" Rifel asked, as he twisted the blade, causing Duncan to emit even more grotesque sounds. "This is how you killed your family? With a knife through the back..."

Duncan turned his head to Rifel, his mouth opened as if in shock.

"Don't worry." Rifel smiled. "I know that tactic all too well. But you need to realize, there is no such thing as family... There is no such thing as a friend or a foe. It's actually much simpler than that -- a friend is just an enemy you let get close."

He pulled the blade out in one simple movement, as if Duncan's fur was butter, before he turned around and shut his eyes tight.

"I am not without my mercy." he started to explain. "If you are so eager to see what lies below, then I will grant you that desire. Your... final wish."

He kept his eyes closed as he wandered back into the amphitheatre, displaying the fact that the layout of the building was implanted in his memory. He said nothing, and showed no morsel of remorse. He didn't know it, but he left Valessa to watch in horror as the ursa slowly took after the stream, trickling over the edge and embarking on the long and fateful journey to the surface.

This was the first and only time she let the notepad fall from her paw.
THIS WAS BYFAR THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO WRITE.
THIS IS ALSO THE END OF CHAPTER ONE.
Wow...
I had never put so much poetry into anything I have written before.
Sure this is a scene about Rifel doing what he was told to, but it's actually much deeper than that.
This scene is a living allegory for the relationship between humanity and animals. Duncan represents the humans, and Rifel represents the animals. Pay attention to the positions of their struggle.
Who is in charge, who is submissive. In what order, and who ends up prevailing.
Re-read this section with that in mind, and you will be bathed with insight into the downfall of humanity -- how exactly it happened (maybe the animals had a hand in it?), and spawn your own interpretation of our downfall.
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:iconburningangels101:
This piece stunned me from the very first sentence to the end. It carries a very strong message that I believe you portrayed extremely well, and also shows the ruthlessness of the Triumvirate in a way that sets them up extremely clearly as the antagonists.
I also thought that even though it was very serious it also shows something we have all heard: ignorance is bliss. And leaves me wondering if this is true, and wanting to read more to see if you reveal the answer later on.
I also enjoy the use of traits that are so utterly human: friends, family, and making them sound weak looking at it from an animal perspective, in which there is only the pack, alpha and omega.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconcoleaini:
Critique by ColeAiNi Dec 11, 2012, 10:29:33 PM
This was intense. Normally I don't read stories like this but I am more than ecstatic that I did so. I am going to go through and read the rest when I get the free time. I love the description and feel I got when reading the clear dominance. Taking so completely from Duncan, kicking him while he was down. I enjoy the hopelessness of the situation, and the fact that it was made up for with the; "This is how you killed them, isn't it?" Rifel asked, as he twisted the blade, causing Duncan to emit even more grotesque sounds. "This is how you killed your family? With a knife through the back..." That had to be my favorite part. And the end of the piece as well, Valessa just being there, alone after witnessing such a moment, it takes back the fact that one might want to side with Rifel and makes you think, was this utter cruelty or what there more. I absolutely can't wait to read more.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconshadowequinox:
shadowequinox Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ouch!
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:iconstanleythecat:
stanleythecat Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Student Artist
Coolio :D
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:iconacewolf2000:
AceWolf2000 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, you are very talented, keep writing!
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:iconboolosuspichu86:
BoolosusPichu86 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh my glob, oh my glob...

... is what i would say if i were there... then run for my life :3
writing something and trying to cut it off somewhere was a problem for me, cuz i just had the urge to continue it and end it in one piece...
yep...
it being epic here :3
--
i look forward to more of your works ;3
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:iconkitsuneichigo:
KitsuneIchigo Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
I'm torn between feeling bad for Duncan and not at the same time. I can see why this would be so hard for you to write, trying to convey so much in one passage without completely writing it out is difficult, but I think you did a good job.
(apologies for not commenting on 003, I wanted to get to this to see what would happen)
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:iconkylelambert:
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks!!! I am personally very proud of this scene, and Rifel's words I find are very profound and philosophical.
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:iconwolftears9192:
WolfTears9192 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Again I think you have done well I really enjoyed this
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:iconshyannturnerofficial:
ShyannTurnerOfficial Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So far, I think this chapter is my favorite ^w^ Its amazing, and I can see it all happening in my head, its perfect!
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:iconkylelambert:
KyleLambert Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional Writer
Yay! But start at 000, you're going backwards this way <3
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:iconshyannturnerofficial:
ShyannTurnerOfficial Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha I already did. I read quickly <3 I can't wait for the newest one ^^
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